Interesting approaches...

Well...we had a very nice weekend with Alina. Andy got to spend a good bit of time with her. He carried her everywhere we went: on his shoulders, in arms, or pushed the stroller. Great break for Mommy. It was also good because she got more comfortable with him. She really loves her Daddy. She actually easier on him than me I guess because he's not the primary at this time. We went to church and then drove to Tuscaloosa to see family who haven't been well recently. She was charming and played up a storm. She doesn't go to other people but she's happy to play from Mommy or Daddy's lap. Which I like because she likes people and attention, but isn't indescriminate which is something you should be concerned about with an adoptive child.

I expressed some of my attachment concerns in my last post, well I started doing somethign about it. One website A4everfamily.org give some suggested games and activities to stimulate eye contact which is one of the best attachement builders. It's called the kissing game. She thinks it's a hoot and looks at me when we do it. I stick one of her favorite snacks or anything food related that is interesting...mostly cherrios between my lips. Then I make her take them with her lips...like a little bird. She grins while she does it and grabs with her teeth but I've gottend some drooly slobbery kisses out of it. And she looks directly at me the whole time.

Another interaction is sitting in my lap while we play with a ball. It's just a minor holding time and no eye contact but she likes to play with me and not alone all the time. We send the ball against the couch and it bounces back.

The third thing we started this morning and it's the hardest. We spent almost 45 minutes with her hollering in my lap. I wouldn't let her get out because I wanted her to relax. This technique is called 'holding time' developed by Martha Welch, MD. She was hollering but there were no tears and after a while she finally heaved a big sigh and settled and when I talked to her she would look me right in the eye. When we settled down for her bottle and then I rocked her for a nap. She was much easier to get to relax.

So I'm going to try that everyday.

According to the book and my friends who have used it. They said it gets easier and builds trust. Originally when she would fuss and want to get down we woudl just let her. I still will if she just wants to play, but if I want to cuddle and relax that's something we're going to have to work on. It's not easy, especially when she's such a happy munchkin when you aren't holding her. But I want her to be equally happy when I am.

Her 1st birthday is this Thursday. I'm so excited we got her home in time. We're going to have a shindig with friends and their kids this weekend. I have to shop for that today and get everything together. I hope it goes well and I can do her nap on Saturday enough so she's in a bouncy mood for cake stuffing time.

Love to all.